Final Sem

Undeniable, there's so much thoughts in my heart and brain these days.

That's why my blog is so up-to-date recently =)

Most probably it's due to my over stress situation.

I always have so much things to express.

Of course some of them shouldn't be here.

And i'll just leave them inside deep in my heart.

People around me used to said i'm so emo lately.

Yea i admit i am.

And i know all the reason as well.

I wish to do some changes, but sometimes its out of my ability.

So, i just can let it be.

All the stress come in different way.

I'm controlled by my emotion lately.

Sometimes i'm just too emotional.

I can't control it, i wish i can stop this too.

This sem ain't easy at all.

I have four subjects with loads of coursework.

I have lotsa things actually,

but sometime i really fed up with all the things and don't know what to do at that moment.

1. Advertising for Electronic Media 

Assignment 1: 1TV Commercial + 1 Radio Commercial + 3 Reports

Assignment 2: 1 TV Commercial + 3 Reports

2. Creative Campaign Production

Part 1: Campaign Propaosal

Part 2: 1 TV Commercial + 1 Radio Commercial

Part 3: Actual Event

Part 4: After event report

3. Media Planning

Part 1: 1 report 

Part 2: 4 types of different media advertisements

1 Mid term

4. Consumer Behaviour

Report + Presentation + Mid term

Creating a TV commercial is not an easy job, you will have so much things to prepare.

*Schedule, timeline, tv script, breakdown etcccccc*

Of course, all of these are group assignments.

It might be very easy when you are just doing your own part.

But when you're the one who always needa do the toughest own part,

in charging all the assignments, check all of the group mate's part,

correcting all the mistakes and so on.

You will know how tough and how stress it is.

Sometimes when you receive some of the works that you don't know what it is all about 

and u gotta redo the whole part, the feeling is so super AWESOME. 

"Last week, one of my group member did her part wrongly and i told her the mistakes 

and ask her to correct them.

The next day i went to coll, i ask her politely do you understand what i tell u? 

Do you know how to do now?

She ans me i don't know what u talking at all with a super lan c + black face.

Seriously i hate ppl showing me that kind of faces.

Especially when i did ntg wrong!

The moment i felt like slapping her so badly.

WTF! It's our group assignment and u did your part wrongly, 

i teach you how to do the right one and u show me that super fucking face.

I turn my head aside and throw my file on the table.

Try to calm down myself and explain to her the whole thing again.

It's not about the the things she do it wrongly,

but the attitude.

Hellow! did i owe u anything?

It's ur responsible to do ur part rightly okaie!"

I have to admit that i'm a bad tempered person.

So don't try to pull out my anger.

Just treat me in the way u wish me to treat you back. That simple!

I'm always a perfectionist. I want everything done in a perfect way.

I means perfect in my own ability.

I know some of my group mates used to hate me when comes into assignment thingy.

I have my way to do things. Follow or not its up to you.

I didn't force you to same group with me.
I just want to make sure everything comes with the best outcome that we could do it.

And try to score as high as we could. That's me.

Most of the time, our group assignments score at least A- for the previous sem,

That's why i want everything comes in a good one.

The marks is for everyone, not only me.

Ain't its your responsible to do it good as well?

Some of them just will think that she's doing so much.

She never think before who's doing much more than her.

This semester, everything ruined.

I know that, it's all my fault.

I couldn't manage it well.

Due to all the super heavy coursework

and some external influences as well.

I wish to do everything in a very good way badly,

but too much of things come tgt,

i couldn't handle them well.

It's out of my ability.

I have total four subjects,

and 3 of the subjects i don't even know what it is talking about.

We spent too much time focusing on all the coursework,

and neglected all the theory part.

I know imma gone crazie while preparing for final.

I'm not expecting to do it very well.

But still, i will try my best in everything.

I dare not to know all the coursework marks,

cos i know all of them are low, low, low.

=X

*No eyes see!*

Besides studies, 
there's always some other thingy that mess up with me.
Sometime i really don't know what can i do,
what should i do,
how can i do it better .
Sometime, things happen and i just can't act like there's nothing happen b4.
I can't forget smtg easily, that's the worst part.
Pain heal, scar remain. Always.

Everything of mine is decreasing,

my strength,

my ability,

my patience

...........

Sometime i wish i can throw everything aside and shout out loud

FUCK EVERYTHING!

But surely i can't do so.

I need a break so badly.

But there's still so much of things waiting for me to do.

After all the coursework down,

it's time to prepare for the final exam.

The head gonna burst soon! >.<

*If you read this post to the end, clap hand for your patience!*

*Cos it's super duper long!*

I sincerely wish everything will turn better.

I don't want shits happen again!